JuNK CoLLeCTioN
by Starleigh
Summary: Just my collection of drabbles, songs, poems and little scenes too short to be called one-shots. Everything shorter than 1000 words. You know. Scraps and junk.
1. Invisible Ninja Bowling Pin

**JuNK CoLLeCTioN**

**by EppogirlXD**

**Just a fic full of little PoM scenes, drabbles and poems I make up that are too short to be even called one-shots. I don't know if there is a word for these kind of fan fictions, so it's just called my Junk Collection.**

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><p>It was the penguins' early morning training. They were all standing before a bunch of ninja bowling pins, tensed and ready.<p>

"Steady…" Skipper said. "And _go_!"

Then black and white flew everywhere as all four of them fought all ten bowling pins. They knocked them down and battered them up. The pins stood no chance as they attacked.

Finally, all ten were down and they all gathered in the middle, feeling proud and accomplished. But then Skipper frowned. "There's one! Private! Go get it!"

Private whirled around in a panic, trying to spot the undefeated ninja. But there was nothing.

"Private!" Skipper exclaimed, "he's invisible! And getting away! To your left!"

Private swung out to his left, but there was nothing there, either. He kept on moving cautiously and puzzled in that direction, hitting out at he air, trying to get some contact. But there was nothing solid.

Skipper was shouting as he moved about. "You missed him! Be careful! To your right! Punch now! Ooh, that's good one in the gut, Private!"

It went on and on as Private fought nothing, punching no one in the gut. Kowalski and Rico were staring. Private felt silly. There was not one thing here. He tried to explain this to Skipper, but he just said: "Don't pause, Private! _Duck!_"

So Private ducked for nothing. This was insane. Was he expecting Private to be some kind of a mime?

"Pin him down, Private!"

How do you pin down air? He waved about, not wanting to displease Skipper. He finally pushed his flippers downwards and made them hover a few centimeters above the concrete ground, trying to give the illusion of holding down a ninja bowling pin.

Meanwhile, Skipper cheered. "You got him, Private!"

The other penguins looked at Skipper like he was crazy. Private waved at the space below him. Still nothing there. He got up.

Just then, the lemurs came hopping into the habitat. "Uh, okay, I'm confused," Julien said immediately, no greeting, no nothing. "Why was the little penguin fighting the air like that? I mean, it's so bad! I can do waaaaaaaay better miming than _him_!" He gave a few demonstrations: Climbing a mountain. Pushing a heavy box. Attempting to twist the lid of a grape jar. Falling off a plane.

Skipper rolled his eyes, but Julien was way too full of himself to notice. He started bragging about more things that he could do, his voice getting louder and louder. It was getting on everyone's nerves, and finally Skipper couldn't take it anymore and grabbed at the air which Private had pinned down. Then he said, "Meet my invisible ninja enemy!", and clocked Julien's face with the imaginary bowling pin.

To everyone's surprise, there was a _thwack_ sound and Julien crumpled down, unconscious before he even hit the ground.


	2. The Maze

**JuNK CoLLeCTioN**

**EppogirlXD**

**The Maze**

"Well boys," Skipper announced as he ripped off Kowalski's, Private's, and Rico's blindfolds. The three winced in pain as some of their feathers got plucked off in the process. That was definitely not cloth fabric. "This is…a new sort of training. You know how to fight an enemy. You know how to get away from an enemy's lair about to self-destruct. BUT. Dr Blowhole's evil lair had been simple to navigate. There were even exit signs. So. Today's training process is using your skills and knowledge in order to quickly get you out of an area you CANNOT easily find the way through. Hence, I present you the biggest and only maze of Central Park." He waved his flipper in the air for dramatic effect.

The other three looked around. The four penguins were obviously in the middle of some sort of nature maze. Green, leafy walls, taller than any of them could jump, surrounded them completely on four sides except for a little exit cut out on one of the green walls. Beyond that, all they could see was a passageway leading into unknown parts of the maze.

Private looked nervous. "Do we do it by ourselves?"

"You may go alone or together. As long as you make it out of here."

Private looked relieved and turned to Kowalski, but he shook his head confidently. "No, Private. I'm going to go in myself. It will be simple for me. I, after all, know how to get out of mazes. All I need to do is just keep on running my right flipper against the right wall, and somehow, I will make it out of here, even if it takes a long time when going around dead ends, because the right wall will–" He paused at Skipper's glare. "I really shouldn't give that away."

"You really shouldn't have."

Private thought of some options about how he could get out of the maze alone. Maybe climb the walls? Or...

"Anyways," Skipper continued. "Like I said, the maze will test you on your SKILL and luck to get out. Each of you must be smart, able, capable–"

Suddenly, Rico got bored of Skipper's speech, and just ran straight towards a green wall. He burst through it, and kept on going headfirst through the walls of the maze, leaving a wreck behind, until he reached the outside of the maze, into the clearing of Central Park. He whooped with joy.

"–or be like Rico," Skipper sighed and shook his head.

Thanks a lot, Rico. XPXD


	3. Mort's Mind

**Junk Collection**

**By EppogirlXD**

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><p><strong>Thank you to reviewers. :)...you know who you are.<strong>

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><p><strong>WELL. I got bored, okay? This one is a crackfic that I never planned on posting...eh. This chapter is f4f (free for flames). I can take it.<strong>

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><p>Feet.<p>

I want the feet.

I want the feet so bad I want to feel the feet I want to touch the feet I want to stroke the feet I want to stare at feet.

Flawless perfection!

Oooooooooooooooh they are right before my eyes! A pair of heaven yay yay yay I must touch them

I streak forward and grab them! They are silk and satin I must never let them go.

I don't have long the toes wiggle I cling tighter I like feet I like feet I like feet I like da feeeeeeeeeeet!

I dunno what happens next a yell the force comes I get pushed shoved thrust flung into the air and I fly up and up and up.

I like flying the sky is soooooooooo big and pretty. I want to fly! Like the birds. Hi birdies!

The wind tickles! It tickles my fur it tickles my fluffy tail it tickles my ears! Giggle giggle giggle.

If only the feet were to fly with me I could stay up here forever!

ButnowohnoI'mfallingtheskyrisingI'mfalling.

When will I meet the ground? Touch the sky once more I hit water. Water is cold. Is very cold. Is very blue.

I don't like drowning.


	4. Like It Never Happened

**JuNK CoLLeCTioN**

**By EppogirlXD**

**It's about time I started mentioning reviewers, as usual...so thank you to InternetGirl123 and Eternally Ebony, who reviewed every single chapter...as always...you guys are so loyal...Sky Fireheart, thank you XD...Kukipye...I had to delete your review for the third chapter because I will not allow anybody to copy and paste the whole chapter in a review...,Asmith137... Skystar Leader of FlameClan, for reviewing the first two chapters, a random anonymous reviewer named Gygggggffgxv... Adr62395ian...I am not smoking anything...XP...and GrandOldPenguin...thank you. :)**

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><p>It was 1900 hours.<p>

The zoo had already been closed for the day.

The penguins were relaxing in their HQ.

Private was watching the Lunacorns on the telly.

He was also petting his Lunacorn plushie next to him.

Skipper was filing some files in alphabetical order.

ABCDEFG…

Rico was cleaning the weapons he regurgitated.

He scrubbed at them with a cloth.

They had some muck on them.

Kowalski was in his lab.

Working on an invention that could save or destroy the world.

Again.

Everything was silent for a moment.

Then: _**BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**_

The explosion from the lab shook the whole HQ.

Gray smoke seeped out from under the door.

Kowalski burst out of the lab, sputtering apologies.

Then he stumbled back into his lab.

He slammed the door shut.

Everything was silent for a second...

It was 1901 hours.

The zoo had already been closed for the day.

The penguins were relaxing in their HQ.

Private was watching the Lunacorns on the telly.

He was also petting his Lunacorn plushie next to him.

Skipper was filing some files in alphabetical order.

ABCDEFG…

Rico was cleaning the weapons he regurgitated.

He scrubbed at them with a cloth.

They had some muck on them.

Kowalski was in his lab.

Working on an invention that could save or destroy the world.

Again.


	5. Mort Goes Bananas

**This is a cute one-shot by none other than my little sister, Kukipye. :) I know, another Mort one-shot...deal with it.**

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><p><strong>Mort Goes Bananas (you know, more than he already was)<strong>

**by Kukipye**

**A/N: Izza oneshot.**

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><p>The little lemur glanced suspiciously around. If anybody found out that he'd 'borrowed' the boomybox, THEY WOULD BE MAD! So, he should keep it under the secrets.<p>

Looking around once again, Mort pressed the 'Play' button.

'Peel banana!

Peel peel banana!

Eat banana!

Eat eat banana!

Peel banana!

Peel peel banana!

Eat banana!

Eat eat banana!

WHAT IS BANANA!'

The chant rang out into the air. The little mouse (lemur) quickly turned down the volume. Luckily for him, there was no one around. Just him. Suddenly, a voice sliced through the air.

"O-oh Mo-ort! I'm hungry. Go get me a banana!"

Mort's eyes widened and he ran to fetch the requested food, muttering under his breath…

"Peel banana!

Peel peel banana!

Eat banana!

Eat eat banana!

WHAT IS BANANA!"

Julien looked up at him. "What is that you did say? Oh, never mind, you probably don't even know what it is that you said…where is the banana?"

Mort blinked and handed him the banana. He watched Julien carefully, again saying the chant under his breath, following exactly to Julien's actions.

"Peel banana! Peel peel banana!"

Julien finished peeling the banana and raised it to his mouth.

"Eat banana! Eat eat banana!"

Julien ate the banana.

"WHAT IS BANANA!"

Julien looked at him, blinked and threw the banana peel at him, having finished his banana.

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><p><strong>AN: I sooo owes this ol' story to de 3****rd**** graderz on mah school bus. They started to sing this, and it was FUNNEH!**


	6. You Belong With Me

**JC6 by EppogirlXD**

**This is You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift, the Skilene version by me...I posted it on fanpop 10 months ago...LOL...**

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><p>You're in the HQ with your girlfriend, she's upset,<p>

She's going off about something that you said,

She doesnt get your paranoia like I do,

I'm in my cave, its a typical Funday night,

I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like, (it's Spanish guitar songs btw)

And she'll never know your story like I do, (which I barely know but still)

But she's a falcon, I'm an otter,

She's got feathers and I got some brown fur,

Dreaming 'bout the day when you wake up and find,

That what you're looking for has been here the whole time,

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you,

Been here all along so why can't you see?

You belong with me,

You belong with me,

Walking in the sewers with you and your trademark smirk,

I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be,

Laughing on the zoo bench thinking to myself,

Hey isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole city,

I haven't seen it in awhile, since she gave you pity,

You say you're fine I know you better than that,

Hey, whatcha doing with a girl like that?

She eats small mammals I eat oysters,

She's has feathers and I got some brown fur,

Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find,

That what you're looking for has been here the whole time,

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you,

Been here all along so why can't you see?

You belong with me,

Standin by, waiting at your fishbowl,

All this time how could you not know that?

You belong with me,

You belong with me.

Oh I remember you sliding to my cave in the middle of the night,

I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry,

I know your favorite moves and you tell me 'bout your team,

I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?

Been here all along so why can't you see?

You belong with me.

Standing by and waiting at you fish bowl,

All this time how could you not know that,

You belong with me,

You belong with me.

Have you ever thought just maybe,

You belong with me,

You belong with me.


	7. Feeling Down

** JuNK CoLLeCTioN**

**By EppogirlXD**

**Feeling Down**

**A poem. That rhymes.**

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><p>It's the mission that you couldn't accomplish,<p>

The stupid noise every night that gets to you,

It's when one morning you discover there's no more coffee powder,

Yet you can't sleep no matter what you do.

It's the wave of frustration that washes over you,

When your teammates are too paranoid to see,

The simple obvious truth right in front of their faces,

It's also harsh brutal reality.

It's the bad luck that's always following you around,

Or when you don't get to use dynamite,

It's the moment you realize your doll doesn't love you back,

Or when you unfairly lose a fight.

It's the experiment that failed yet again,

Or threatens to destroy the world,

It's when your leader completely disses your love for science,

On the same day you get crushed by Doris the girl.

So what could lift your spirits,

A good deed or a nice smile?

Will those things blow away the gloomy clouds,

Till you can't see them for miles?

Well, it's when every single animal is against you,

Or when the batteries die in your MP3s,

It's when your crown or thrown is completely destroyed,

Or when Mort won't stop touching your feet.

It's your world that's forced to revolve around your king,

Trying to complete every ridiculous demand,

You get no rest when you have to dance with him and Mort,

Yet you have to please him again and again.

It's when your king is a complete jerk to you,

And you're always scolded and have no bounds,

It's the feet that's so close but way too far away,

Because you don't like to be kicked around.

It's the males who always ignore you and look you down,

Because you're almost the only girl in the zoo,

It's the penguins who keep on intruding on your privacy,

Always making you do want you don't want to do.

So what could lift your spirits,

A good deed or a nice smile?

Will those things blow away the gloomy clouds,

Till you can't see them for miles?

Or do you just need to take a breath,

Look at the bright side and ignore the bad,

Realize that all those things were not much, really,

Compared to all the good that you have. :)

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><p><strong>...<strong>


	8. The Technicolor Phase

**The Technicolor Phase**

**PoMified song by EppogirlXD**

**This is an Owl City song I PoMified 9 months ago…**

I am the red in the dynamite,

Sticks that you light up and make explode,

And I am the white in the files,

That seem to exile into different codes.

I am the green in the blankets,

That you wrap up with the other sheets,

And I am the blue in your big surrounding pool,

Which separates the platform and the wide zoo street.

If you cut me I suppose I would bleed,

The colors of the evening stars.

You can go anywhere you wish

Cause I'll be there, wherever you are.

(wherever you are)

(wherever you are)

(I will always be your keys

when we are lost in the Technicolor phase)

I am the black in your feathers,

The ones that seem to blend in a bit with the white,

And I am the orange in your waddling feet,

A color that you visualize.

I am the gray in the walls that soak up

All the sound when you cannot sleep.

And I am the peach in oblivious little peeps,

That you entertain till you are fast asleep.

If you cut me I suppose I would bleed,

The colors of the evening stars. (my darling)

You can go anywhere you wish cause I'll be there,

Wherever you are. (my darling)

(wherever you are)

(wherever you are)

(wherever you are)


	9. Give Me Your Spanish Guitar

**Give Me Your Spanish Guitar**

**By EppogirlXD**

**It's, you know. Meh. This idea sparked in my head one night.**

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><p>Marlene was just happily arranging her seashells on a shelf in her cave when Skipper came bursting in.<p>

"Marlene, give me your Spanish guitar," he ordered.

Like any other normal person, Marlene was taken aback by his intrusion and demand. She instantly became wary. "And why should I hand it over to _you_?"

There was a pause. Marlene knew what he was going to say before he even said it. "Classified," Skipper told her, suddenly looking a bit nervous. He reached to the side to grab to guitar that was currently leaning against the stone wall, but Marlene was there faster.

"Not unless you tell me why," Marlene retorted, holding the guitar firmly. "I bet you don't even know how to play!"

She tried to think of reasons why he would need it. It was probably a ridiculous reason. He was probably going to use it to store explosives inside. Or use it as firewood to roast marshmallows over. Or use it to smash a bug on the wall.

Or maybe it was for an entirely different reason. Her eyes widened, trying to grasp the idea in her mind. Maybe he _did_ know how to play. Who knew?

She was still suspicious. Yet her grip on the guitar slackened. She rolled the thought over in her mind.

Skipper took that opportunity to remove it gently from her paws. She let him.

He grinned at her.

She grinned at him, waiting.

He used the guitar to smash a bug on the wall.

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><p><strong>BAMSHABAM. And you thought this fanfic was dead. Oh well. Please forget to review. Yes, you heard me.<strong>


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